ABDLs are everywhere. We could be your neighbor. Your friend. Your child. This is reality. An ally is someone who supports their ABDL* friend or family member and works to end the stigmas and prejudices faced by the ABDL* community. Being an ally means ensuring that others are treated with the respect and dignity they deserve. Without allies being ABDL* can be unspeakably lonely. Allies make all the difference in the world. ABDL*s look to one another as allies, and as a community we must also strive to support one another.
Things Allies can do to help:
Additional Tips:
Things Allies can do to help:
- Be a listener.
- Be open-minded.
- Be willing to talk.
- Be respectful of an individuals desire to be out or not to be. If an individual only wants to be out to a few people, respect their wishes. Do not disclose that an individual is ABDL* without their express permission.
- Believe that all people, regardless of age identity and sexual proclivities, should be treated with dignity and respect.
- Don't rule out the possibility that someone close to is ABDL*. Someone close to you could be looking for support in their coming-out process. Not making assumptions will give them the space they need.
- Be kind and respectful to incontinent people. Never make fun of someone for wearing diapers. Together we can end the stigma.
- Confront your own prejudices against ABDL*s, even if it is uncomfortable to do so.
- Do not make jokes at the expense of ABDL*s. We are real people who have feelings.
- Do not spread misconceptions and stigmas about ABDL*s.
- Remind us that although we are different, we still have just as much value as individuals as any other person. Many ABDL*s and people in general benefit from a little reassurance every once in a while.
Additional Tips:
- Don't OUT people as ABDL* without their explicit consent. Nobody wants to get fired or attacked.
- Avoid using phrases that devalue individuals based on their age expression. Examples would be "act your age", "immature", "childish"
- Brush up on LGTBQ+ terminology and etiquette. There are many queer identifying people within the ABDL* population. Additionally, ABDL-phobia has so much in common with queerphobia that being queerphobic precludes one from being a good ABDL* Ally.
- Don't preface a statement on ABDL* issues with “I’m not an ABDL*, but…”
- Don't think of people as “my ABDL* friend” just think of them as your friend.
- Realize that ABDL*s are still perfectly capable of being responsible contributing members of society. Never assume that because some of us might identify as babies that we want to be helpless or abdicate our so called "adult responsibilities". Don't patronize us. Babytalk can be cute at first, but it gets old rather quickly. Just treat us like people.