UPDATE for 2016: I almost considered taking this page down. I will leave it up for some of the younger folks out there. Ultimately though it is the author's view that how one comes out shouldn't influence the ultimate outcome. People deserve to be loved and respected even if they do have a really "bumpy" coming out process.
Mistakes Commonly Made By ABDL*s When Coming Out:
1. Downplaying their ABDL*: when confronted some ABDL*s have said it was just a phase, this is untrue. ABDL* is an enduring part of one's identity. It cannot be "outgrown" or "gotten rid of".
2. Claiming that their ABDL* is just a form of stress relief: Granted ABDL* activities are relaxing for many ABDL*s, it would be disingenuous to say that ABDL* is just a coping method. Saying that ABDL* is a coping mechanism implies that one is ABDL* because they are unhappy and otherwise incapable of dealing with their problems in any other way. When a child tells their parents that they have to resort to wearing diapers to handle their stress levels, parents become alarmed. Instead be courageous enough to admit you are into ABDL* because it brings you joy.
3. Compare being ABDL* to Drugs/Alcohol/Accidental Pregnancy: a common claim by outed ABDL*s is that their behavior is acceptable because being ABDL* is not as bad as being into drugs/alcohol/pregnancy. By comparing ABDL* with drugs, one is pegging ABDL* as a bad thing by association. In reality being ABDL* has nothing to do with drugs or alcohol. ABDL* is not a vice, it is a perfectly natural part of one's identity.
4. Faking Incontinence: Many ABDL*s have had their diapers found by their parents. A common excuse is to make up a story about having accidents or wetting the bed. When someone spontaneously starts wetting the bed or has accidents, it usually is a cause for concern. This lie usually results in the individual being dragged to the doctor, and having tests done. This is expensive and unnecessary. Additionally, lying about suffering from incontinence causes parents to become worried. If and when the truth about an individual's ABDL* does end up surfacing, their parents will feel betrayed, and will be even less receptive towards one's ABDL*.
5. Closing the lines of communication: when trying to explain one's ABDL* to an ignorant or otherwise confused person, it can be tempting to become defensive or combative. Granted comments like "I think you are mentally ill" or "does this mean you are interested in children?" are particularly hurtful, it pays not to become angry. Rude and insensitive comments like these stem from ignorance and fear. ABDL* is usually very alien concept to most people, and thus outside their comfort zone. Many people harbor a lot of misconceptions about ABDL*. The only way to address people's discomfort with ABDL*s is by explaining things calmly. Coming unglued only serves to reinforce the notion that ABDL*s are emotionally unstable. Parents often times say extremely hurtful and politically incorrect things, but they are not usually trying to hurt their child's feelings. Most parents truly do not understand what they are saying is rude. It pays to be patient.
6. Being Impersonal: This may apply more to people who willingly come out, but it also applies to those forcibly outed. Examples of being impersonal in delivery might be handing one's parents a letter and barricading oneself in their bedroom while they wait for their parents to read their letter. Coming out is usually done best face to face. Finding out that their child is ABDL* comes as a big shock to most parents. Many have to "see it to believe it". This means literally walking up to them and saying " I like wearing diapers". Telling someone in person makes denial much less likely.
7. Cowering/Looking Pathetic: Although it might be tempting to want to run into your room, lock your door and start crying, it does nothing to help your case so to speak. If one is anything less than confident and composed when coming out, others pick up on the discomfort and tension. Parents will blame your discomfort and tension on your ABDL*. This is probably the biggest mistake an ABDL* can make.
8. Not Completely Explaining One's ABDL*:
This is huge. Most people have never heard of ABDL* let alone have an accurate idea of what ABDL* is. When coming out it is important to explain what ABDL* means to you. Every ABDL* is different. Some are sexual. Some are not. It is important to make sure others do not get the wrong impression. Other people need to know what ABDL* means to you so that they can act accordingly and establish proper boundaries.