Welcome to the glossary. You will note that many words end up appearing more than once, or with different definitions. Just as "macintosh" could mean the fruit or the computer, many of the words used in our community have different meanings based on context. Additionally it is important to know that many terms used in our community are evolving or are even points of contention.
General Terms
"Age Non-Conformity"- refers to a tendency towards feeling, and expressing oneself in ways that do not adhere to societies expectations for maturity. It can be thought of as an inclusive blanket term for those in our community who feel "little" for whatever reasons. See "History of Age Non-Conforminty" here.
"Agequeer"- someone who feels their age identity is outside the socially constructed norms regarding age. (Synonym: Age Non-Conforming)
"Age Identity"- a person's private sense, and subjective experience, of how mature they feel. All societies have a set of age categories that can serve as the basis of the formation of a social identity in relation to other members of society. In most societies, there is a basic division between age attributes assigned to the different age identities. Society assigns age identities on the basis of one's chronological age or appearance. Just as one's gender identity is not necessarily dependent on one's assigned sex, one's age identity is independent from the age of their body. Additionally, the line between gender identity/expression and age identity/expression are fairly blurry. Read more about Age.
"Assigned Age"- Socially constructed labels given involuntarily to individuals based on their outward appearance.
Example: A male person appears to be about 45 years of age, the assigned age identity given to him is "middle-aged man".
"Big"- a gender neutral term used to describe a caretaker of an age non-conformer.
"CGLRE" - ‘cgl’ + ‘regression’ refers to a situation where a person who regresses or is age non-conforming, and has someone else that routinely looks after them. It takes its name from the established of ‘caregiver-little’ dynamic. Basically this identity is a fork of the main CGL branch by those in want to make it understood that their CGL relationship is 100% platonic.
"Chronological Age"- someone's age as counted from birth. This is our legal definition of age.
Example someone born in 1990 is chronologically 24 years old in the year 2014.
"Coming Out Of The Toy Box" - analagous to coming out as LGBT but for age non-conforming folks.
"Little"- someone who identifies (see this page) as a child (or child-like) while being chronologically older.
"LG/Little Girl" - A little who identifies as a little/baby girl. This is an example of a variety of gender identity/expression with an "age component".
"Little Boy" - A little who identifies as a little/baby boy. This is an example of a variety of gender identity/expression with an "age component".
"Mental Age/ Mentality"- used in more of a clinical/legal sense to convey the equivalent level of one's mental function compared to others of the same chronological age. Example: A chronologically aged male of 45 years who has a mental age of 2 would most likely be described as being functionally impaired and unable to live independently.
"Middle"- someone who identifies (see this page) as a slightly older child (or child-like) while being chronologically older.
"Sissy"- individuals who role-play as little girls (generally in a more "girly girl" feminine fashion) despite normally identifying as male or at least butch in daily life.
"Agequeer"- someone who feels their age identity is outside the socially constructed norms regarding age. (Synonym: Age Non-Conforming)
"Age Identity"- a person's private sense, and subjective experience, of how mature they feel. All societies have a set of age categories that can serve as the basis of the formation of a social identity in relation to other members of society. In most societies, there is a basic division between age attributes assigned to the different age identities. Society assigns age identities on the basis of one's chronological age or appearance. Just as one's gender identity is not necessarily dependent on one's assigned sex, one's age identity is independent from the age of their body. Additionally, the line between gender identity/expression and age identity/expression are fairly blurry. Read more about Age.
"Assigned Age"- Socially constructed labels given involuntarily to individuals based on their outward appearance.
Example: A male person appears to be about 45 years of age, the assigned age identity given to him is "middle-aged man".
"Big"- a gender neutral term used to describe a caretaker of an age non-conformer.
"CGLRE" - ‘cgl’ + ‘regression’ refers to a situation where a person who regresses or is age non-conforming, and has someone else that routinely looks after them. It takes its name from the established of ‘caregiver-little’ dynamic. Basically this identity is a fork of the main CGL branch by those in want to make it understood that their CGL relationship is 100% platonic.
"Chronological Age"- someone's age as counted from birth. This is our legal definition of age.
Example someone born in 1990 is chronologically 24 years old in the year 2014.
"Coming Out Of The Toy Box" - analagous to coming out as LGBT but for age non-conforming folks.
"Little"- someone who identifies (see this page) as a child (or child-like) while being chronologically older.
"LG/Little Girl" - A little who identifies as a little/baby girl. This is an example of a variety of gender identity/expression with an "age component".
"Little Boy" - A little who identifies as a little/baby boy. This is an example of a variety of gender identity/expression with an "age component".
"Mental Age/ Mentality"- used in more of a clinical/legal sense to convey the equivalent level of one's mental function compared to others of the same chronological age. Example: A chronologically aged male of 45 years who has a mental age of 2 would most likely be described as being functionally impaired and unable to live independently.
"Middle"- someone who identifies (see this page) as a slightly older child (or child-like) while being chronologically older.
"Sissy"- individuals who role-play as little girls (generally in a more "girly girl" feminine fashion) despite normally identifying as male or at least butch in daily life.
Kink Related
ABDL stands for Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers. Usually used in a fetish context, but ABDL* is a very general term. One may identify as an "ABDL" but not necessarily consider themselves to be either an Adult Baby or Diaper Lover, instead they just consider themselves a part of the "community". While this website does not focus on the ABDL community we recognize their importance in community's history.
*Note: ABDL is a term that has been around for almost 2 decades whereas terms like "Age Non-conforming" are relatively recent. Many people still may use the -label ABDL although other labels might fit them better. ABDL is a "catch-all" term
"Adult Baby" or "AB"- is a term used to describe people who occasionally use role-play to regress to an infant or child-like state. ABs typically like to wear/use/play with stereotypically infantile items such as diapers, bottles,stuffed animals ect. While is considered a fetish for many, some who use the label don't consider it inherently sexual.
*Alternate Definition 1- An AB is a person for whom "Adult Baby is a valid age identity. In this sense Adult Baby is an identity that conveys one exhibits a mix of both adult and infantile traits.
“Diaper Lover”- someone who enjoys wearing diapers, enjoys seeing other adults wearing diapers or has a fetish for diapers themselves (as in the material). Diaper lovers are usually thought of as occupying the more sexual end of the ABDL spectrum.
"Switch"- Someone who changes roles between big and little.
"Teen Babies"- an antiquated term for an “adult baby” who is still under 18/19 years of chronological age and is not legally considered an adult (USA).
"Little"(Kink)- someone who role-plays as being child-like while being chronologically older. Usually for the purposes of creating a power dynamic.
"CGL"(Kink)- Caregiver/Little relationship: a situation where a person who regresses or is age non-conforming and has someone else that routinely looks after them. Usually, the people in a CGL relationship are romantically involved but not always. There are many valid CGL relationships out there so it is hard to generalize any further...
Note: There is some disagreement between some people in sexual CGL relationships and those in platonic CGL relationships as to whether CGL relationships are inherently sexual in nature...
"Adult Child"- similar to adult baby, however adult children role-play/identify as children rather than babies or toddlers.
"Age Player"- broad term that includes those who enjoy role playing at an age different than their chronological one. Usually though the role-play serves the purpose of establishing a Submissive/Dominant power hierarchy with an intimate partner.
Note: many Ageplayers don't consider themselves a part of the ABDL* spectrum (and there is some hostility in some circles).
Note: Ageplay can be entirely non-sexual.
"DDLG" - ‘DaddyDom’ + ‘LittleGirl’: Just a more specifically gendered form of a ‘caregiver-little’ relationship.
"Paraphilic infantilism " - An antiquated term that was to describe some of the fetishists in the ABDL community. This term has fallen out of favor due to its clinical sound and lack of inclusivity towards non-sexual identities.
"Vanilla" - used to describe non-kinky people or practices.
*Note: ABDL is a term that has been around for almost 2 decades whereas terms like "Age Non-conforming" are relatively recent. Many people still may use the -label ABDL although other labels might fit them better. ABDL is a "catch-all" term
"Adult Baby" or "AB"- is a term used to describe people who occasionally use role-play to regress to an infant or child-like state. ABs typically like to wear/use/play with stereotypically infantile items such as diapers, bottles,stuffed animals ect. While is considered a fetish for many, some who use the label don't consider it inherently sexual.
*Alternate Definition 1- An AB is a person for whom "Adult Baby is a valid age identity. In this sense Adult Baby is an identity that conveys one exhibits a mix of both adult and infantile traits.
“Diaper Lover”- someone who enjoys wearing diapers, enjoys seeing other adults wearing diapers or has a fetish for diapers themselves (as in the material). Diaper lovers are usually thought of as occupying the more sexual end of the ABDL spectrum.
"Switch"- Someone who changes roles between big and little.
"Teen Babies"- an antiquated term for an “adult baby” who is still under 18/19 years of chronological age and is not legally considered an adult (USA).
"Little"(Kink)- someone who role-plays as being child-like while being chronologically older. Usually for the purposes of creating a power dynamic.
"CGL"(Kink)- Caregiver/Little relationship: a situation where a person who regresses or is age non-conforming and has someone else that routinely looks after them. Usually, the people in a CGL relationship are romantically involved but not always. There are many valid CGL relationships out there so it is hard to generalize any further...
Note: There is some disagreement between some people in sexual CGL relationships and those in platonic CGL relationships as to whether CGL relationships are inherently sexual in nature...
"Adult Child"- similar to adult baby, however adult children role-play/identify as children rather than babies or toddlers.
"Age Player"- broad term that includes those who enjoy role playing at an age different than their chronological one. Usually though the role-play serves the purpose of establishing a Submissive/Dominant power hierarchy with an intimate partner.
Note: many Ageplayers don't consider themselves a part of the ABDL* spectrum (and there is some hostility in some circles).
Note: Ageplay can be entirely non-sexual.
"DDLG" - ‘DaddyDom’ + ‘LittleGirl’: Just a more specifically gendered form of a ‘caregiver-little’ relationship.
"Paraphilic infantilism " - An antiquated term that was to describe some of the fetishists in the ABDL community. This term has fallen out of favor due to its clinical sound and lack of inclusivity towards non-sexual identities.
"Vanilla" - used to describe non-kinky people or practices.
Other Terms
"Appropriation"- when a dominant group borrows cultural elements from an oppressed group in a tacky way.
Example: wiping out a native people, then selling cheesy Halloween costumes based on their sacred religious attire.
"Butch"- describes appearance/traits that are traditionally considered masculine. (also a reclaimed slur for some queer people)
"Feminism" - advocacy of human rights the basis of the equality of the sexes. See "Feminism"
"Gender Play"- Broad category referring to anything that incorporates role play of different gender roles
i.e. Cross Dressing, Drag, Forced-Feminization.
"Incontinent"- someone who is unable to voluntarily control their bladder and/or bowels. Not a disease by itself, instead a side effect of a medical condition.
"Internalized ###*phobia" - the #### represents a "wildcard" that could represent Age-Nonconforming, or homo ect.
Basically the idea is that people often hold negative stereotypes, beliefs, stigma, and prejudice about their identiies/comunities.
Classic Example: With internalized-homophobia a gay person might subconsciously have a bias towards overly flamboyant gay people. This negative bias can get in the way of acceptance and community unity.
In our community it is common for closeted ABDL folk to look down on non-kinky folks and attempt to erase our existence.
"Intersectionality"- the tendency for social groupings to create a dynamic overlapping experience of oppression.
Example: A trans* person of color likely faces a "double whammy" of oppression because they are simultaneously facing racists, and transphobes. Additionally, intersectionality means that individuals can be ostracised from their own groups,. i.e. there are plenty of surprisingly racist white queer people.
"NUK 5"- a "size 5" or adult version of a NUK brand pacifier. Developed in Germany for use in speech therapy to strengthen muscles in adults.
"Reclaimed Word"- a word that has been used to marginalize a group but was later resurrected by the oppressed group. These terms often fail to breach generational boundaries or are still contentious (so be respectful/careful using these words if you are not in the oppressed group).
Examples: Queer, Faggot, Dyke, Butch etc...
